Pregnancy and pandemic: 3 weeks until due date

This is what life looks like right now.

Toys scattered across every room of the house. The television constantly playing a movie or cartoon. And emotions are running rampant among all members of Suddreth Manor.

The Sequel is cutting four molars at once. And possible going through a growth spurt. Baby Suddreth is getting over an ear infection and is definitely going through a growth spurt. And he’s not sleeping. Or napping. My anxiety about delivery is through the roof and my patience is non-existence. I’m grouchy, moody, hormonal and constantly on edge. Brett is doing his best to stay cool, calm and collect but with this much togetherness for everyone, it’s starting to take a toll even on him. Plus, he isn’t sleeping much either because Baby Suddreth wakes him up every night. Multiple times a night. He’s exhausted. We all are.

As exhausted as I am, I’ve found myself navigating the different stages of grief as I prepare myself to have this baby. I’ve worked through denial and depression (although depression was really anxiety and is sort of an ongoing cycle). But, during the last week I’ve found myself squarely in the Anger stage. I’m furious that I’m not getting the birth experience I want and this baby deserves. I’m angry that I’m going to be stuck at home without access to my support network for actual support. Yes conversations and text messages will be nice, but a text message can’t hold a newborn so I can shower. I’m really mad that my entire maternity leave is likely going to be spent trapped inside, with a newborn, a 1 year old and a 4 year old without the ability to go anywhere or see anyone.

So, if all of you who think you’re too important to follow the rules could just STAY HOME so we can slow this thing down, that’d be great. Because summer is pretty much going to be canceled and it’s all because some people won’t just be adults and listen.

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