Father’s Day was a few days ago (June 19th) and it was an extra special day at Suddreth Manor; Baby Suddreth also turned one month old! It is amazing how quickly time is moving and how much a person can change in just one month. I love it and want it to stop at the same time.
But this Father’s Day was even more than just the baby turning one month, this is the first year that Brett got to celebrate as a dad…and that got me thinking about the challenges we faced becoming parents.
It’s not secret that our journey to parenthood was not an easy, simple path. I have written on more than one occasion about my own personal struggle with it and how emotional it was, especially during Mother’s Day. But, something I never thought about until this year, was how my husband felt during Father’s Day. I know our fertility struggle was painful and emotional for him, too. We walked that path together, and there were many tears (mostly mine) but he was so supportive and comforting and encouraging through it.
And he was very aware of how painful Mother’s Day was for me, and made the day as wonderful as possible – but I don’t think I really considered how painful Father’s Day was for him. Not because I don’t care, but because I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I failed to stop and consider it.
This year though, I thought about it a lot. About how all of the pain and heartache I felt, he must have been feeling, too. About how hard Mother’s Day was because of the mixture of emotions, and how Father’s Day must have been the same for him. And about how through all of it, he held my hand and reassured me. Something I don’t think I did much in return.
But all of the pain, all of the sadness, longing and heartache have been worth it – for both of us. And this year, for Father’s Day, I got to celebrate my husband. I got to watch him hold his son, and play with him. I got to buy cards for him; one from me and one from our son. And I got to make cute little baby crafts that he now has displayed in his office.
Watching him open the card and gift from our son is quite possibly one of the best moments of my life (Baby Suddreth’s birth, telling Brett I was pregnant and our wedding are up there, too). His reaction was beautiful and I will forever cherish the look on his face and the hugs he gave to the baby. It was a beautiful moment.
Mostly though, I am so glad to have been blessed with our precious little miracle and that, together, I was able to make Father’s Day a day we get to celebrate Brett.
So, even though I am four days behind, happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there; the veterans, the new ones and the dads-to-be.
And, if Father’s Day is a painful reminder for you, I pray that you had the peace and grace you needed to get through the day.